


android created chat: bonding

by FreezeThisMoment



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Cute Kids, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff and Crack, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-06-29 14:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15731712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreezeThisMoment/pseuds/FreezeThisMoment
Summary: uwu: why is the chat name bacon???bisual: oh sweaty nobisual: it’s hyung’s favoriteandroid: (whispers) bondagementhol: N Ouwu: !!jinkies: time to diesharknado: hyung it says b o n d i n g





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> lil user guide:
> 
> rawr: Woojin  
> android: Chan  
> menthol: Minho  
> bisual: Changbin  
> jinkies: Hyunjin  
> uwu: Felix  
> owo: Jisung  
> family pet: Seungmin  
> sharknado: Jeongin
> 
> This is the third chat fic I've written, but this is the only one I've liked enough to let out of the basement lmao. Anyways please enjoy!
> 
> (Also this takes place in the US, so they're not super strict with honorifics.)

[android has created chat: bonding]  
[android has added rawr, sharknado, and 7 others]

android: :)

family pet: no

menthol: shut it down

menthol: you guilt trip us enough hoe

android: :(

rawr: look what you’ve done

owo: pls make him happy

owo: my father deserves the best

sharknado: let’s not today

android: :/

family pet: good enough i guess

uwu: why is the chat name bacon???

bisual: oh sweaty no

bisual: it’s hyung’s favorite

android: (whispers) bondage

menthol: N O

uwu: !!

jinkies: time to die

sharknado: hyung it says b o n d i n g

android: ;)

rawr: kick him out

rawr: your goku figurine is hanging out the window bih

android: ok damn

family pet: this was a mistake

bisual: lmao me

android: in this chat, we enforce positivity

jinkies: have you met us hyung

android: >:)

jinkies: your outdated emojis mean nothing to me

android: lil bitch

-

bisual: @woojin hyung you know that cake you made me

rawr: that cake that took 2 hours to make

rawr: yes i do in fact know that cake

owo: choose your words wisley

bisual: i might have dropped it

rawr: are you sure you want to say that

menthol: yeet that bitch

rawr: eat it off the floor then

bisual: i-

rawr: i can come over and watch

bisual: please don't

bisual: that's cruel and unsual punishment i'm almost positive

owo: i'm omw way with a fork broski you'll make it through this

menthol: i would but gotta stay on that skinny legend grind

rawr: take it back that was the worst thing i've ever read

owo: he gotta stay on that grind

owo: never disrespect another man's grind

rawr: take it b ack

android: why is woojin hyung sobbing

android: wait nvm i don't want to know

bisual: hying there s a roach on my floor pleAse

rawr: eat it

owo: it's still cake either way

owo: i can spray it with raid if u want

owo: i have some on me

android: jisung i told you to stop that we don't have ants anymore

menthol: why the fuck you buying raid for ants

rawr: i don't deserve this

bisual: hyung were eating the cakr are you happy

owo: i sprayed the roach

android: i think he broke his phone holy shit

menthol: perish

-

family pet: how do i get a refund for a human being

uwu: the real question: what did hyunjin do this time

jinkies: it's not even that bad this time i swear

sharknado: noah fence hyung but we all know by now that whenever you say not bad

sharknado: it's a disaster by normal standards

uwu: go off jeongin holy shit

family pet: jin should i tell them or do you want to

jinkies: i'm embarrassed

family pet: good

family pet: you're humiliation gives me back my youth

jinkies: please i need to put horse in her tank

uwu: hi wtf

uwu: also your**

sharknado: fuck this

sharknado: i have a test tomorrow i need to study

sharknado: gn y'all

family pet: wise choice

family pet: so you'll never guess what horse is

jinkies: please do not insult her she is fragile

menthol: i had something to do but i'm invested in this please continue

uwu: fat mood

family pet: anyways, i come back to our dorm after world history

family pet: and jin has an entire lizard in his hands

family pet: she has a necklace that says horse

family pet: the lizard is called horse

uwu: LAMO

uwu: JFHEUIEALD

menthol: disappointed but not surprised

jinkies: i put earmuffs on her so she wouldn't be upset at the slander here

menthol: we

menthol: we're typing

menthol: it's silent

family pet: i don't think we're even allowed to have lizards

jinkies: i don't know the ra just started crying when i introduced horse to him

family pet: jin the earmuffs are plastic and they're hanging by her mouth

jinkies: she looked okay

uwu: what does

uwu: what does that mean??

jinkies: i told her to blink twice if she wasn't okay and she didn't

menthol: lizarrs don't speak

menthol: hyunjin please lizards don't speak

menthol: tjey don't understand us

jinkies: that's going to stunt her growth shut up bitch

family pet: i need a fucking nap

sharknado: i think you could sell hyunjin hyung for $15

sharknado: given it some thought

sharknado: couldn't study bc i'm plagued with regret for opening the chat at all

family pet: a reliable answer thank you

menthol: jeongin’s only purpose is to destroy the rest of us

sharknado: am i doing a good job at least

menthol: honestly? i'm scared to answer that

uwu: just say yes it's not worth it any other way

sharknado: :)

-

owo: just woke up sweating

rawr: do i need to know why it's 3 am

owo: changbin looks like a mouse

owo: like he fuckin animorphed in one of my dreams and i woke up from the shock

rawr: oh my god

rawr: i've been raising a rodent

family pet: if i had any soul left i’d be in tears rn

rawr: okay damn calm down

owo: felix

owo: bro

family pet: bitch he's asleep it's felix

rawr: wait don't be so sure about that

uwu: my bro sense was tingling what's up bro

owo: real recognizes real bro

uwu: bro

owo: bro

family pet: please my third brain cell just called it quits

rawr: it's 3 am once again

rawr: please get to the point

owo: you live with changbin right bro

uwu: yeah bro why

owo: can u confirm he look like mouse

uwu: !!!

uwu: bro can confirm

owo: thanks bro you can go back to sleep

uwu: anything for you fam

family pet: i hate this fucking family


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bisual: i'm bi everyone breaking news
> 
> sharknado: understandable
> 
> sharknado: fist emoji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written the majority of this at 3 am, I regret nothing so far yeet

owo: so apparently that test jeongin had was in the class we share

 

owo: i had no idea lads guess who just failed

 

sharknado: i failed too bitch didn't actually study remember

 

sharknado: sunglasses emoji

 

uwu: the fact u typed sunglasses emoji is so cursed

 

uwu: bro i'm sure u did fine

 

owo: my prof grimaced as i walked out bro

 

uwu: i'll fight bro

 

uwu: this isn't fair u didn't know

 

owo: you're the best bro

 

sharknado: n e ways

 

sharknado: we finna drop out

 

sharknado: i always knew i was destined for that street rat life

 

bisual: apparently that's my life seeing as i look like a mouse

 

bisual: if sung’s animorphing dreams are accurate

 

owo: are they i'm curious

 

menthol: more importantly why you dreaming about changbin here

 

bisual: i'm older than you answer that q first

 

owo: fuck

 

owo: asfkgkkes

 

menthol: was that supposed to be an answer

 

menthol: felix translate pls

 

uwu: gimme a sec

 

uwu: can't read the characters v well

 

uwu: speaking of why do we have a chat in korean if we all speak in english in person

 

bisual: irrelevant

 

bisual: translation, stat

 

uwu: sure

 

uwu: i think he dropped his phone

 

uwu: my bro senses are tingling gonna check it out brb

 

menthol: he says that so casually yet they live on opposite sides of the campus

 

sharknado: since we asking so many questions why is your user bisual hyung

 

sharknado: wouldn't binsual fit better or somethin

 

bisual: well you see it's also because i like my women like my men

 

menthol: excuse me

 

bisual: wait

 

menthol: yes please try again

 

bisual: boys

 

bisuals: girls

 

bisual: it's a pun

 

bisual: i'm bi everyone breaking news

 

sharknado: understandable

 

sharknado: fist emoji

 

menthol: jeongin i mean this in the most loving way

 

menthol: stop that emoji fuckery you little piece of shit

 

sharknado: wow my crops are thriving

 

sharknado: my bank account is suddenly full

 

uwu: update the phone was dropped and is now recovered

 

owo: felix is the best bro a man could ask for

 

android: bold of you to assume jisung is a man

 

owo: are u kidding me this is what you quit lurking for

 

android: supporting my son

 

owo: ur support is not what i need

 

menthol: jisung switching between u and you in 1 message radiates large amounts of chaos

 

bisual: that's kind of his whole thing if you hadn't noticed

 

uwu: he's powerful

 

owo: thanks bro

 

android: anyways try not to tell woojin you failed your tests he'll flay the both of y'all

 

bisual: this

 

bisual: this is a gc

 

bisual: that he's in

 

android: but don't tell him

 

bisual: if that'll make you happy

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

uwu: bro do u think minho hyung knows

 

owo: why are u calling him hyung

 

owo: you never call him hyung

 

uwu: not taking any chances

 

uwu: i don't play with demons

 

owo: understandable

 

owo: but man i hope not

 

owo: minho hyung is…

 

uwu: impulsive and shameless maybe?

 

owo: among other things

 

uwu: it's not that hard to see how WHIPPED you are for Changbin though bro

 

owo: ur taken out of the will bro

 

uwu: bro please

 

owo: i'm telling minho about chan traitor

 

uwu: BRO PLEAS

 

uwu: AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH

 

uwu: WNAT ABOUT US

 

owo: WHAT ABOUT TRUST

 

uwu: U KNOW I NEVER MEANT TO HURT U

 

owo: bro you're right bro

 

owo: i won't tell him

 

uwu: thanks mate xoxo

 

-

 

jinkies: what's a fun sport for valentines day asking for a friend

 

rawr: why do you need to know it's august

 

family pet: jin i asked you what we should do for valentines day like half an hour ago

 

family pet: in case we needed some reservations

 

jinkies: i'm sorry i panicced

 

family pet: i will ignore that glaring error

 

menthol: fun vday sport, huh?

 

android: >:)

 

rawr: i don't like where this is going

 

android: this fun sport even starts with v!

 

menthol: should i say it or you

 

rawr: I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

 

jinkies: woojin is scared so i am scared

 

family pet: i'm this close to leaving the chat

 

android: let's take turns pal

 

menthol: v

 

android: o

 

menthol: r

 

rawr: keep going and i'll get up and slit your throat lee minho

 

family pet: god please do

 

menthol: hopefully you got the message i've got to go

 

rawr: try and leave coward

 

jinkies: chan hyung you were supposed to be the sensible one

 

android: that was your mistake see

 

android: not mine

 

rawr: you can. fix that. right? :)

 

android: YES HAHAH

 

jinkies: i'm not going to ask for help again

 

menthol: boo

 

menthol: party pooper

 

family pet: i think that's fair when you make vore jokes

 

rawr: i second that

 

menthol: live a little bitch

 

jinkies: i don't

 

jinkies: i don't want to be eaten

 

android: that's fair

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

uwu: SO U KNOW HOW I GOT THAT JOB AT STARBUCKS BRO

 

owo: YES BRO

 

uwu: SO IT TURNS OUT CHRIS WORKS THERE TOO??

 

owo: whomst

 

owo: i'm not here for this Australian™ shit

 

uwu: FINE CHAN WORKS THERE TOO

 

owo: BRO SINCE WHEN

 

uwu: THIS IS PROBS TJE PART TIME JOB HES BEEN TALKING ABOUT

 

owo: DID YOY SEE HIM TODAY

 

uwu: YEAJ HE WAS THE MANAGER TODAY

 

owo: WTF WHY DOESNT HE TELL US THINGS

 

uwu: idk but.. he's so c*te

 

uwu: he had a beanie on today n his hair was… so curly

 

owo: what a man

 

owo: asfjks that's so weird to say he's literally a baby

 

uwu: u would know ur literally his best friend

 

owo: but ur mine

 

owo: channie is second to you bro

 

uwu: ur mine too bro wtf

 

owo: bros before hoes

 

uwu: i'll drink to that

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to drop a kudos and/or comment letting me know what you thought :)
> 
>  
> 
> Check me out on Twitter! (@moonwhis)


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet this is late but school just started and I'm dead inside

 jinkies: not to be that bitch

 

jinkies: but Seungmin is the best roommate ever hands down

 

family pet: i haven't done anything what do you mean

 

bisual: yes explain

 

jinkies: listen here i can make fun of him but I don't appreciate your tone

 

bisual: i breathed

 

jinkies: how about we fix that

 

family pet: as much as i'm down for that

 

family pet: i'm also curious as to what jin is going to say

 

jinkies: oh yeah!

 

jinkies: so i get back today, and he's dancing around the dorm brushing his teeth and screaming to DAY6

 

bisual: understandable, legends

 

family pet: you've redeemeed yourself a bit in my books

 

bisual: once again

 

bisual: i breathed

 

family pet: you've done too much of that for my liking

 

bisual: i'm going to go now because i fear for my well being

 

bisual: i wont try to cover anything up

 

bisual: i'm a little bitch, terrified whatever you want to call it

 

jinkies: at least he's aware of it

 

family pet: we stan a self aware king

 

-

 

sharknado: so

 

android: no hellos or anything

 

android: i see how it be

 

owo: it be like that sometimes

 

sharknado: jisung pleas shut up this involves you

 

owo: aight if u insist

 

android: am i invisible what the fuck is this bull

 

rawr: hi language

 

sharknado: hi woojin hyung

 

android: AM I INVISIBLE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT

 

rawr: don't know what i was expecting

 

uwu: will anyone let the poor boy speak

 

sharknado: thanks i guess hyung

 

sharknado: so

 

sharknado: that test jisung and i bombed was worse than we both thought

 

owo: to be fair we're both awful at calculus

 

sharknado: i don't know if that excuses a 32 and 25%

 

rawr: WHAt

 

android: JESUS CHRIST

 

uwu: jisung got the 25 i'm calling it

 

owo: me too

 

android: how do you not know your grade??

 

android: jeongin called me like half an hour ago telling me to not come over today bc you 2 had to stay behind

 

sharknado: she literally went “what the fuck was that”

 

owo: ever heard of selective hearing

 

owo: heard my name and nothing else

 

uwu: what an icon

 

rawr: also jisung betting on this does you no good

 

uwu: how was your aneuyrsm

 

rawr: not so great

 

uwu: i felt… that

 

rawr: i should've left you on that street corner all those years ago

 

uwu: BUT U DIDN'T

 

sharknado: so jisung got the 25%

 

owo: call me?? phsyic?

 

android: sometimes you're so stupid my eyes hurt

 

owo: wow ok bff card revoked

 

sharknado: no wait he has a point

 

rawr: i don't know if you're allowed to talk

 

android: i think the 2 of you living together is killing your braincells

 

owo: guys was just informed the word is pyschic

 

owo: i thought they meant the same thing

 

uwu: it's ok they look almost the same

 

rawr: THERE IS NOTHING OKAY ABIHT THISSSSSSSSSSS

 

sharknado: he just broke his fucking keyboard i can almost hear it

 

android: brb taking woojin to the hospital bc he's got glass all in his hands xoxo

 

owo: if this is my fault i don't have enough money to pay the bill

 

-

 

[private chat: menthol, bisual, android]

 

android: felix has gotten at least $20 in tips how

 

bisual: maybe bc he's “adorable and has the smile of an angel”

 

bisual: your words not mine

 

android: yes i knew this but he's only been on shift for 45 mins

 

menthol: i have to agree with changbin

 

menthol: also why am i in this chat again

 

menthol: all y'all do is complain over felix and jisung

 

bisual: censor their names jisung's senses are too keen to take any chances

 

android: yeah fake fan

 

menthol: sorry i'm not part of your spicy threesome

 

bisual: please do not call it that

 

bisual: 3RACHA is sacred

 

menthol: mmm if you say so

 

android: typing theoufh tears feliz sent me. A pic of a puppey and said 'thinking of yoy:’

 

bisual: aren't you still at work

 

android: he's on break and i'm camping out in the bathroom

 

menthol: how are you the manager

 

android: luck i guess

 

bisual: man what a mess

 

menthol: you literally had a breakdown bc jisung ate cake off of your floor

 

menthol: you called it CUTE

 

bisual: but have i cried over him at my workplace?

 

bisual: i think the hell not

 

menthol: fair enough

 

android: this is slander i will not stand for it

 

menthol: i don't think you have much of a choice honestly

 

bisual: >:)

 

-

 

uwu: i haven't seen woojin in two days where is he

 

family pet: he's in the hospital have you missed the snapchats

 

uwu: i don't have a Snapchat

 

owo: he forgot the password three months ago and pretends like he never had one

 

family pet: i don't know whether to laugh or sigh

 

android: felix isn't your break over

 

uwu: shit

 

uwu: idk can't read time

 

sharknado: i'd believe it

 

uwu: says the boy with a 32% in calculus

 

sharknado: that was a WEEK ago

 

uwu: has anything changed is the question

 

android: woojin should be coming home today

 

android: he wanted to drive but his mom said no

 

jinkies: a whole 20 year old man still taking orders from his mom

 

owo: can't relate

 

family pet: to be fair you wouldn't follow them if she gave them

 

owo: got me there partner

 

family pet: i hate that never say that again

 

owo: after all this time partner

 

android: update woojin is driving

 

jinkies: you lost control of the situation very quickly

 

owo: he tried and that's what really counts

 

android: thanks mate

 

owo: i got you fam

 

family pet: if i didn't know better i'd call you hets

 

owo: what an offenese

 

sharknado: you're not allowed to talk anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Once I get adjusted to waking up early again I should be able to update more often than this! :)


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu: bro i don't have a car or money but if i had even one of those things i'd take you
> 
> owo: real brother pulls through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this chapter is inspired by my mate Cam thanks for cutting your nails fam (check him out on twt he's funny: @wondrfill)

 

owo: guess who got a tutor bitches

 

menthol: this is the way you say hello

 

menthol: it's 6:30 why are you awake

 

owo: bc i've got a tutor bitch

 

menthol: i would say fair enough but i don't think it really is this morning

 

owo: someone support me

 

bisual: you're doing great sweatie

 

owo: suddenly my skin is clearing

 

bisual: power of the pen i guess

 

menthol: once again we're texting

 

bisual: how do you know i'm not writing on my screen

 

owo: take that minhoe

 

menthol: each to their own i guess

 

menthol: also i'm ignoring that dig

 

owo: you acknowledged it happened

 

owo: losing ur touch i see

 

bisual: wait who's your tutor sungie

 

owo: o yeah he's one of channie’s friends

 

owo: yugyeom i think

 

menthol: i've met him he's cute 

 

owo: i haven't seen him yet

 

owo: hopefully he's not too tall my pride is already in danger

 

owo: i am a man after all

 

bisual: whoever has called you a man is blind

 

bisual: you're cute but not manly

 

menthol: a twink at best

 

owo: i'll take what i can get i guess

 

menthol: learn the lesson early

 

owo: yes papi

 

bisual: that feels so wrong

 

-

 

rawr: hello i'm back

 

jinkies: oh my god a legend returns

 

owo: he's in my dorm rn

 

android: wait why he doesn't like you

 

android: no offense

 

owo: maybe i need to write you out of the will huh

 

uwu: i've gotten that threat don't test him he means business

 

owo: virtually fist bumping you bro

 

uwu: that's the second best kind of fist bump next to real ones

 

rawr: i came to see jeongin last night we watched sherlock gnomes

 

owo: ok it seemed unlikely u came for me i'll admit

 

jinkies: at least some of your brain is still intact at least

 

android: seungmin is rubbing off on you where is my sweet hyunjin

 

family pet: we live together

 

family pet: he's my best friend

 

jinkies: of course he's rubbing off on me we spend everyday together

 

uwu: pure

 

owo: lix and i rub off on each other without seeing each other beat that

 

rawr: maybe i should've stayed in the hospital for another week

 

family pet: you were only gone for two days

 

family pet: all you needed was stitches

 

rawr: your point

 

owo: my question is when did u have time to snapchat

 

rawr: make time for the things that are important

 

rawr: also is jeongin awake i want to take him to ihop

 

owo: take me too we don't have any food

 

rawr: no

 

android: i would but i've got morning classes

 

owo: i get it

 

owo: smile through the pain

 

uwu: bro i don't have a car or money but if i had even one of those things i’d take you

 

owo: real brother pulls through

 

bisual: i've got some time

 

bisual: i can pick you up if you want

 

jinkies: this is a mistake don't be fooled

 

owo: fuck you i’d love to go

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

owo: bro there are real tears

 

uwu: understandable

 

owo: imma pretend this is a date instead of facing reality 

 

uwu: i wish chan would take me for ihop we went to outback steakhouse the other night and i was so scared

 

owo: was it everything u ever dreamed of

 

uwu: not really

 

uwu: it's not Australian at all so

 

uwu: food was good though can't complain got me a free meal

 

owo: what a champ

 

owo: i've lived in the u.s. since i was ten and i've never been to an outback

 

uwu: ihop is better don't sweat it

 

uwu: sorry @ all outback steakhouse stans

 

owo: why would u say something so brave yet controversial

 

uwu: i was surprised that u spelled that right

 

owo: me too tbh

 

-

 

menthol: did i just cut my nails to play Superstar BTS? Maybe

 

bisual: bitch it's 3 am

 

menthol: you're awake so

 

bisual: got me there

 

android: don't you only play that game with your thumbs

 

menthol: yes your point

 

android: pleas have cut more than just your thumb nails

 

menthol: so what if i didn't sue me

 

bisual: i will maybe i'll finally get a restraining order on you

 

menthol: first of all fuck you

 

menthol: second you love me coward

 

bisual: one more word and i wake woojin hung up to kill you

 

android: WOOJIN HUNG

 

android: IM SCREAMINF

 

menthol: man maybe i should catch some z's

 

bisual: who's the coward now sucker

 

android: it's still you

 

bisual: suddenly i'm switching dorms

 

android: wait pls don't leave who else will i complain to

 

menthol: me bitch

 

android: like i said,

 

android: who will i complain to

 

sharknado: go the fuck to sleep

 

-

 

sharknado: i think i may actually understand calculus now woojin hyung is a great teacher

 

jinkies: did you mean: woojin HUNG

 

owo: he thicc

 

family pet: cursed

 

owo: can't relate my tutor and i have yet to meet

 

sharknado: you got him like a week ago wtf

 

android: that's yugyeom

 

android: he's like jisung but older and taller

 

owo: i said he better not be tall some adjustments need to be made

 

sharknado: that's not your choice please pull your grades up before you flunk out of college

 

jinkies: another case of jeongin going off

 

jinkies: get em kid

 

sharknado: you're on thin fucking ice

 

android: update i'm on break and felix is flirting with old ladies

 

owo: he wanna tap that aged wine

 

family pet: THAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING I'VE EVER READ

 

sharknado: we're all barely legal please

 

android: my soul just curdled

 

jinkies: ooh good word

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm hoping with this fic I can maybe update at least three times a week let's see how long that lasts lmao


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> owo: there are like 15 sad emojis which one do you mean
> 
> sharknado: idk i don't actually look at them
> 
> rawr: jeongin please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit longer, apparently I was not made to wake up at 6 am every day!
> 
> Also this isn't as cracky as the other chapters bc I'm setting plot stuff up for the future? Hope you enjoy anyways.

jinkies: so i was thinking that some of you may be wondering how horse is doing

 

menthol: once again, i do not care about the lizard but am also morbidly curious

 

uwu: how is she ole girl

 

jinkies: she’s adjusted to her lil tank and is thriving if i can say so myself

 

android: i went over and found out that he was using his savings to pay for her if that changes any minds

 

uwu: she's high maintenance

 

uwu: that’s not her fault

 

menthol: what happens when you run out of money though

 

jinkies: i’ll get a job

 

menthol: you don’t have a job??

 

jinkies: seungmin takes care of things i don’t need one

 

uwu: y’all really out here like an old married couple

 

uwu: scratch that just a married couple i don’t like the visual

 

android: understandable

 

android: woojin and i have a three hour lecture now do not disrupt the peach xoxo

 

menthol: princess peach is a catch

 

menthol: a straight babe i won’t interrupt her don’t worry

 

android: while i agree with you just know that i have a large collection of very sharp fountain pens at my disposal

 

jinkies: lecture chan is on time to split

 

android: i appreciate the respect and will bring you a frappuccino

 

jinkies: can i get a triple mocha one those are my favorite

 

menthol: that was some gay shit

 

uwu: anyone who thinks hyunjin is straight is a fool anyways

 

family pet: especially since we've been dating for the last eight months

 

uwu: w

 

uwu: why didn't we know??

 

menthol: that makes a lot of sense actually

 

jinkies: if you wanted to know you could've asked

 

jinkies: take things into your own hands and all

 

uwu: true

 

uwu: this explains why seungmin asked what you wanted to do for Valentine's day

 

family pet: why did you only capitalize valentines

 

uwu: he's a cool dude i respect him

 

menthol: fair enough

 

menthol: that a very felixy thing to say

 

uwu: i'm honored

 

uwu: if i ever do something rad and get my head cut off capitalize my name

 

jinkies: that can be arranged

 

-

 

owo: just met up with yugyeom for a tutoring session and that's one tall man

 

rawr: yeah he's all skin and bones

 

owo: idk man have you seen those legs

 

owo: those are some thighs

 

bisual: did you actually learn anything in the session today 

 

rawr: let's not get ahead of ourselves here

 

sharknado: i don't think he's capable of actually acquiring new knowledge

 

owo: well i really suck at math so it was kind of hard to understand haha

 

owo: but he did clear a few things up

 

owo: kind of a relief actually

 

owo: he's really easy to talk to

 

sharknado: that's actually good

 

sharknado: maybe we won't fail this class

 

sharknado: question mark emoji

 

rawr: i was about to say good job but that made me realize you don't deserve it

 

sharknado: hey

 

sharknado: sad face emoji

 

bisual: ooh i hate that more than i thought i would

 

owo: there are like 15 sad emojis which one do you mean

 

sharknado: idk i don't actually look at them

 

rawr: jeongin please

 

-

 

[private chat: menthol, bisual, android]

 

bisual: i don’t think i like yugyeom very much

 

menthol: oh? worm?

 

android: did he do something to you? he’s usually pretty nice

 

bisual: idk the vibe he gives off doesn’t sit well with me

 

menthol: does this have something to do with the fact that jisung’s warmed up to him after a week when he usually hates strangers

 

bisual: maybe?

 

android: i was three seconds away from texting bambam holy shit

 

android: i’m like 85% sure you’ve got nothing to worry about

 

bisual: i don’t want him to get hurt y’know

 

menthol: just ask him out jesus 

 

menthol: it gets annoying watching you 2 pine over people who clearly like you back

 

android: don’t drag me into this traitor

 

bisual: i think you may be blind

 

menthol: hmmm

 

android: rest in peace changbin… 

 

menthol: i could ask him if you like

 

bisual: please do not

 

bisual: you have to ask felix then too

 

android: hhhh

 

menthol: fine

 

menthol: i’ll hold onto the tea for now

 

menthol: even though it’s not really tea 

 

menthol: we been knew

 

-

 

rawr: felix your mom just emailed me saying that your sister’s gonna be in town in two weeks

 

sharknado: why does felix’s mom send you emails first of all

 

uwu: my mum doesn’t trust me to check my email yeet

 

uwu: tell her i said that she’s the best hyung

 

owo: we r bros, but none of the mum shit is tolerated here

 

sharknado: that’s something i actually agree with him here

 

sharknado: you soud too much like a dickhead british teenager

 

rawr: i can email that too

 

uwu: please don’t she’ll skin me

 

rawr: well well we’ll have to wait and see i guess

 

owo: woojin radiates strong evil energy

 

rawr: call me hyung you idiot

 

owo: why am i the only one you crack down on 

 

owo: i call bullshit

 

rawr: bc i actually like jeongin and felix right now

 

sharknado: speaking of can you let me in i’m here whoop

 

uwu: ooh what y’all up to

 

sharknado: woojin minho and i are getting drunk to celebrate me getting better at math

 

owo: nice

 

owo: if changbin hadn’t turned me down i would be saying same >:(

 

owo: morning classes boo hoo

 

uwu: i’m going to rummage through my closet for the clothes rachel bought me a couple of months ago

 

uwu: she beats me up if i don’t wear them when she visits

 

rawr: lovely sibling bond you got there

 

uwu: you have a brother u get it

 

rawr: sadly i do in fact get it

 

sharknado: CAN ONE OF YOU LET ME IN SOMEONES ASKING ME IF IM LOST

 

menthol: i’m coming woojin is somewhere not near the door atm

 

uwu: sketchy

 

sharknado: who would’ve thoughr minho would be the reliable one

 

menthol: i would, considering i know myself

 

sharknado: i take it back i’ll wait for woojin 

 

owo: ive decided to go and get drunk by myself lads 

 

owo: see everyone tomorrow or whenever i’m sober again

 

uwu: please dont’ die

 

rawr: feliz please

 

uwu: at least i didn’t spell FELIX with a Z

 

menthol: understandable

 

rawr: please don’t get alhocol poisoning

 

owo: okay mom

 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lads!


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took longer than expected bc I had to rearrange some things, but thank you so much for over a 1,000 hits! That's crazy!!

 

sharknado: jisung and i had another calc test today

 

android: oh no how did it go

 

sharknado: love that positivity that we enforce here

 

android: sorry

 

android: i mean that's great! how did it go!

 

owo: i had some idea of what we were doing this time so i'd say better

 

sharknado: same actually

 

family pet: honestly that's probably a good sign

 

uwu: when do ur scores come out

 

owo: mmm

 

owo: maybe saturday??

 

android: wow your teacher is fast

 

android: mine would take like two weeks to get a lil test out

 

family pet: didn't she also give the longest tests out of the freshman class

 

android: yes but this is irrelevant knowledge

 

family pet: aye aye captain

 

uwu: @ chan hyung

 

android: i've been summoned

 

uwu: rachel’s coming a couple of days early, can i have a ride to the airport xoxo

 

android: sure

 

bisual: hi hello it's my car too

 

owo: changbin it's not a good idea to keep rachel waiting take it from me

 

uwu: she left him at the airport with no money and he had to walk all the way back to campus once

 

bisual: what the fuck

 

owo: it was 20 miles of hell

 

android: i remember that lmao

 

family pet: rachel seems an awful lot like woojin

 

uwu: they get along really well

 

bisual: just

 

bisual: take the car

 

bisual: i’m trying to imagine jisung walking 20 miles

 

owo: my dad used to make me walk to school even though it’s an hour away

 

owo: i’ve got some strength built up >:)

 

family pet: did you guys not have a car or something??

 

owo: he… just didn’t like taking me places

 

family pet: your dad kind of sounds like an asshole

 

android: man i’ll drink to that

 

uwu: i’ve only met him a couple of times but yikes

 

owo: zoinkies

 

bisual: i was going to offer words of support but after that i feel no guilt

 

owo: wait please i thrive off of attention

 

android: that’s such a mood

 

family pet: the biggest attention whore in our group is either minho or

 

family pet: no it’s just minho

 

sharknado: that’s something i’ll agree with

 

bisual: where did you go first of all

 

sharknado: i don’t like to waste my time on the common folk

 

uwu: u say that but u started the conversation

 

sharknado: what’s that? couldn’t hear you peasant scum

 

android: where is my sweet jeongin i want him back

 

sharknado: sorry the old jeongin can’t come to the phone right now

 

android: WHO IS THIS

 

android: I HAVE JEONGINS KEYS ILL BREAK IN

 

sharknado: it’s britney bitches xoxo

 

android: MINHO GIVE THE PHONE BACK

 

family pet: this escalated quickly

 

bisual: more like descelated the convo went to shit

 

-

 

menthol: Ratatouille, the forbidden fruit

 

rawr: oh no

 

jinkies: that ain't it chief

 

sharknado: what does that even mean??

 

menthol: y'know he steals from the restaurant and becomes forbidden fruit? for his people?

 

rawr: have you ever seen Ratatouille

 

jinkies: i'm crying brb

 

sharknado: honestly i'm feeling really offended

 

sharknado: more so than usual

 

menthol: i regret nothing fools

 

rawr: i'm going to slash your mattress how about that

 

menthol: but

 

menthol: i need that

 

rawr: perish

 

jinkies: all my hair is standing up for the wrong reasons

 

sharknado: shave it off then

 

sharknado: show it who's best

 

jinkies: seungmin says no

 

rawr: the fact you would even consider that is a bad sign

 

menthol: you'd look bad bald sweetie

 

-

 

[private chat: menthol, bisual, android]

 

menthol: so i have a problem

 

bisual: is this a real problem or a minho problem

 

menthol: a real one

 

android: continue

 

menthol: me and woojin hyung kind of k*ssed??

 

bisual: holy shit

 

android: when?

 

menthol: the other day when we were out drinking??

 

menthol: i don't know he just kinda leaned in and said “something i've wanted to do for a while” and did it

 

bisual: oh my god i didn't think you'd be his type at all

 

android: does he remember?

 

menthol: i don't think so

 

menthol: he didn't remember much when i asked him

 

android: hmm

 

android: the real question is will you live up to your confident gay title

 

bisual: ooh that's a good one

 

menthol: i might have to he's a good k*sser and pretty cute

 

menthol: we're roommates so it might not be that tough >:)

 

android: suddenly i'm afraid for woojin

 

bisual: he can take care of himself have some faith

 

menthol: he can beat my ass

 

bisual: throwing yourself under the bus

 

bisual: a good skill glad to see you learned it

 

android: cowards

 

menthol: do you really think you're in any position to say that

 

android: maybe not but yeet

 

bisual: i hope you can feel my dread seeping into your body

 

android: sustenance

 

menthol: suddenly i am afraid

 

bisual: that's a first

 

menthol: if this is fear i don't like it

 

android: you're not special buddy

 

bisual: your**

 

menthol: no he's right changbin

 

android: and you call yourself a sophomore in college

 

bisual: i guess i don't have to

 

menthol: i suggest you take him out of the spicy threesome

 

bisual: wait i'll call sungie

 

android: jisung's wrath… is powerful

 

menthol: i am intrigued

 

android: ask seungmin he's got tons of videos

 

menthol: my intrigue only grows

 

android: your mistake i guess

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :) Part of this is inspired by a gc I'm in, bc I couldn't not add it lmao
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment/kudos or hit me up on Twitter! (@moonwhis)


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is... Much heavier than the other chapters, but the whole angsty dumb teens is almost over I swear

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

uwu: guess who got a boyfriend bitch

 

owo: no way

 

owo: it has to be chan

 

owo: spill the tea sister

 

uwu: gladly

 

uwu: so we’re going to pick up rachel right

 

uwu: i was wearing those yellow overall she bought me

 

owo: oh u look so cute in those

 

uwu: i guess so bc as we pull up in the parking lot chan stops the car

 

owo: holy shit what kdrama is this

 

uwu: mine

 

uwu: n e ways, he looks over and goes “i wasn’t planning on this, but there’s something i have to say.” understandably, i am n e r v o u s

 

owo: keep going i’m so into this

 

uwu: “for a while now, i’ve been in love with you. i’ve been to much of a coward to admit it, but i am head over heels for you felix lee.”

 

owo: ew that sounds so wrong

 

owo: “felix lee”

 

uwu: not all of us are korean sorry

 

uwu: “you look so good today, if i didn’t ask you out someone else is going to.”

 

owo: BRB THERER ARE REAL TWARS

 

owo: THAT”S THE MOST ROMANTIC HE”S EVER SOUNDED  


uwu: i said yes of course so i am no longer single

 

owo: i’m so happy for u felix

 

uwu: perhaps this is the best day of my life

 

owo: ur perfect for each other i’m so glad

 

uwu: no all that needs to happen is u and changbin

 

owo: as if bro

 

owo: there’s no way he has feelings for me

 

uwu: i bet ur wrong

 

owo: at least someone feels that way

 

uwu: oh bb no

 

uwu: i’m coming over u need a hug

 

owo: what about rachel

 

owo: and chan??

 

uwu: ur my best friend

 

uwu: i can make exceptions for u bro

 

owo: i’ll unlock the door for u

 

owo: i love you thank you

 

uwu: don’t worry about it :)

 

-

 

android: hello good morning i love my boyfriend

 

rawr: your what now

 

uwu: i love my boyfriend too what a coincidence

 

sharknado: no fucking way

 

menthol: are you kidding why didn’t you tell binnie and i

 

owo: good morning to america’s strongest couple!

 

rawr: i think i’m in shock

 

family pet: me too wtf

 

sharknado: which one of you grew a pair

 

android: me i guess

 

menthol: “i guess”

 

menthol: a very chan thing to say

 

family pet: when did this happen??

 

uwu: yesterday before we went to get rachel

 

rawr: conspiracy

 

rawr: that car is magic

 

uwu: i’ll second that

 

sharknado: didn’t changbin hyung have his first kiss in that car

 

android: how do you even know that?

 

owo: how old is the car?

 

family pet: changbin and chan got it when changbin was a senior

 

family pet: like two years then?

 

menthol: and how do you know that one

 

family pet: changbin and i lived across the street from each other

 

family pet: i knew these things

 

rawr: this is so much new information i don’t know how to handle myself

 

owo: don’t end up in the hospital again

 

rawr: maybe i will

 

uwu: such a strange threat

 

sharknado: yeah i need my calculus tutor fully functioning

 

android: and we have a study session tonight so please don’t

 

uwu: channie do you want to grab breakfast while we’re both free?

 

android: of course i’ll be there soon

 

menthol: man is whipped

 

menthol: woojin do you also want to grab breakfast while we’re free?

 

family pet: oh shit he brought out punctuation

 

rawr: why?

 

menthol: can’t we do something nice together? :( i’ll pay and everything

 

rawr: you know what sure

 

owo: this is confident gay hour try and change my mind

 

menthol: ;)

 

-

 

[private chat: owo, android]

 

owo: hey hyung are you free rn?

 

owo: can i call you

 

android: studying with woojin

 

android: what’s up?

 

owo: oh it’s okay

 

owo: it wasn’t that important anyways lol

 

android: he’ll understand

 

owo: no he won’t

 

owo: woojin hyung doesn’t like me he’s just gonna see this as another stupid jisung thing

 

android: jisung that’s ridiculous

 

android: woojin does not hate you

 

owo: why does he never cut me any slack then?

 

owo: why didn’t he offer to tutor me?

 

owo: why am i always the stupid one?

 

owo: it’s so clear ot see hyung

 

android: sung you’re over analyzing

 

android: you know that woojin shows affection by making fun of people

 

owo: i’m sorry i’m probably bothering you

 

android: jisung why did you want to call me

 

android: no excuses

 

owo: my dad called again

 

owo: i thought he was done but he won’t leave me alone hyung

 

owo: and my hyung was there too

 

owo: he didn’t do anything to stop him chan

 

android: jisung i’m calling you right now don’t you dare hang up

 

android: i thought he was done sung i’m so sorry

 

owo: he’s never goign to be bdone with me as long as i”m an issue

 

android: you are not an issue do you hear me?

 

owo: i’m so sorry

 

-

 

[private chat: rawr, owo]

 

rawr: jisung what’s going on

 

rawr: chan says you think i hate you

 

owo: it’s okay hyung

 

rawr: i do not hate you okay?

 

rawr: you’ve always been the easiest to joke around with

 

rawr: and i’m not good at showing affection

 

rawr: i love you so much sungie

 

owo: i love you too hyung

 

owo: i thought i was bothering you but i had to call him

 

rawr: what’s the matter?

 

rawr: and don’t lie to me, i’ll come to your dorm

 

owo: please don’t you’ll wake jeongin up

 

rawr: so tell me what’s going on

 

owo: alright

 

owo: so my dad hasn’t really been the best to me

 

owo: growing up and now

 

owo: my hyung said it was because i looked too much like mom for my own good

 

rawr: oh honey

 

owo: he didn’t hit me that much i promise

 

owo: he just didn’t like paying for me

 

owo: said i was a waste of space

 

owo: that i took her from him and was never good enough to fill her space

 

rawr: did you ever tell anyone besides chan?

 

owo: there’s no point

 

owo: no one would believe and my hyung is on his side

 

rawr: oh sung that’s awful

 

rawr: you’re so strong you know that?

 

owo: i don’t have anywhere to go after college

 

owo: he told me he wasn’t going to be responsible for scum anymore and that once i was done i’m gone

 

owo: and no one is going to love someone like me

 

rawr: no wonder chan was so upset

 

rawr: jisung baby nothing he’s been telling you is true

 

rawr: you don’t need him you have us

 

owo: i’m so scared woojin hyung

 

rawr: chan is on his way to pick you up okay baby?

 

rawr: changbin’s out of the dorm tonight so we’re going to have ourselves a sleepover

 

owo: everyone has to take care of me i’m sorry

 

rawr: we’re your family don’t apologize

 

owo: i love you hyung

 

rawr: i love you too jisung stay put hyung’ll be there soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading if you got this far! This is the longest chapter so far, maybe expect more chapters this length in the future? 
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos and hit me up on Twitter! (@moonwhis)


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu: hello
> 
> uwu: peter
> 
> uwu: i can see you reading these u shit
> 
> owo: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a while??? I've been dealing with some insomnia lately that's been making it hard to write, hopefully it doesn't take this long again :)

sharknado: hey where's jisung 

 

sharknado: i thought he fell asleep in the library again but it's been three days and he's only done that for 2

 

family pet: aww look he cares

 

sharknado: says you

 

menthol: he's been at me and wooj's place for a couple of days

 

android: he was at mine two days ago

 

sharknado: can i ask why??

 

android: family emergency

 

rawr: he's been needing lots of support

 

owo: what's up bitches

 

family pet: what a state he's in

 

owo: i just drank half a liter of mountain dew

 

owo: jeongin do u want any i'm heading home soon

 

sharknado: yes please

 

rawr: i was not aware of these plans let me pack your dinner up for you

 

owo: thx hyung xoxo, i got adult stuff ™ i need to do

 

family pet: aren't you due for shots or something today

 

owo: i am indeed

 

owo: felix and i scheduled ours to be on the same day

 

uwu: that's right

 

uwu: i had to go six months longer than i was supposed to sync it up

 

owo: my hero

 

owo: immune system of steel

 

android: i'm concerned and scared

 

family pet: you can't say something like that when hyunjin is in this chat

 

jinkies: i heard my name????

 

family pet: it's nothing babe 

 

family pet: keep cooking you can't leave the stove unattended

 

jinkies: i want to type now

 

jinkies: please help cook

 

family pet: just so we don't die

 

owo: and they say romance is dead

 

uwu: if i was single i'd stand outside ur window with a boombox bro

 

rawr: order has been restored

 

android: lix you tried doing that last week

 

uwu: shh that was supposed to be a secret

 

owo: bro i feel so loved

 

menthol: can i say as the voice of reason here

 

menthol: please get your vaccinations on time wtf

 

rawr: the fact that minho called himself the voice of reason and made an actual good point if worrying

 

menthol: not as much as not getting vaccinated

 

rawr: did someone finally pound some common sense into that thick skull of yours

 

menthol: yeah you <3

 

rawr: yuck

 

menthol: <3 <3 <3

 

sharknado: jisung let me have the other half liter of the mountain dew >:)

 

android: didn’t you guys make fun of me and my outdated emojis what’s going on here

 

sharknado: they’re only outdated when you use them

 

owo: he has spoken

 

uwu: sorry chief i have to agree here

 

android: wow relationship over thanks for all the memories

 

uwu: wait no

 

rawr: you guys have been together for less than a week

 

android: did i stutter

 

rawr: no you did not 

 

uwu: ily :(

 

android: suddenly i have changed my mind

 

owo: magic

 

-

 

[private chat: bisual, owo]

 

bisual: how are you doing sung?

 

owo: i’m good hyung why’d u ask? :)

 

bisual: you were pretty upset that first night i’ve been worried ig

 

owo: i thought u were out of the house tho?

 

bisual: i came home after at about 10 and chan shooed me to my room

 

owo: sorry hyung :(

 

bisual: don’t worry about it! i’m glad you’re okay

 

bisual: also

 

bisual: i got asked on a date???

 

owo: oh

 

owo: by who?

 

owo: and you usually talk to chan and minho about this stuff why come to me?

 

bisual: tzuyu 

 

changbin: how did you know about that??

 

owo: i have my sources

 

bisual: well chan’s been busy with felix and minho is pursuing woojin rn so i came to talk to you

 

bisual: i don’t know what to say to her

 

owo: she’s a beautiful girl hyung

 

owo: and she’s very sweet

 

owo: if you like her go for it

 

bisual: i would 

 

bisual: except there’s someone i’m already interested in??

 

owo: well

 

owo: don’t lead her on that’s never good

 

owo: who are you interested in?

 

owo: you don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable :)

 

bisual: okay give me a second

 

owo: of course!

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

owo: lix changbin got asked out by tzuyu

 

uwu: o no!!

 

uwu: what did he say??

 

owo: nothing yet he asked me for help

 

uwu: oh sungie i’m so sorry

 

uwu: did u tell him how u feel?

 

owo: no

 

owo: he’s going to tell me who he’s interested in however

 

owo: :’)

 

uwu: i can come over and slap him if u want

 

owo: u would kill him

 

uwu: it’s a risk i’m willing to take

 

owo: i’m just gonna wait it out for now

 

owo: wish me luck

 

uwu: report back to me partner

 

owo: aye aye captain

 

-

 

[private chat: bisual, owo]

 

bisual: don’t hate me for this

 

bisual: but you’re the person i’m interested in

 

bisual: more like in love with but haha

 

owo: is this a joke

 

bisual: no???

 

bisual: i wouldn’t joke about something like this i promise

 

owo: there’s no way you can like someone like me hyung

 

bisual: sungie you’re everything i want in a friend in a partner just in general

 

bisual: i’ve been in love with you since high school

 

owo: hyung

 

owo: i like you too

 

owo: a lot

 

bisual: oh shit no way

 

owo: yes way

 

bisual: okay so i am not going to ask you out over text so unlock your dorm

 

owo: it’s 11:30 at night

 

bisual: i am trying to be your romeo

 

owo: will do i’ll unlock the door and wail dramatically

 

bisual: perfect

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

owo: i got me a mans bitch

 

uwu: what????

 

owo: ;)

 

uwu: han jisung explain urself

 

uwu: hello

 

uwu: peter

 

uwu: i can see u reading these u shit

 

owo: <3

 

-

 

[private chat: menthol, bisual, android]

 

bisual: so i may have asked jisung out

 

menthol: oh my god finally

 

android: at 1:30 am no less

 

bisual: i opened the door to wailing

 

bisual: he was being juliet and jeongin was sitting in the corner in fear

 

menthol: of course

 

menthol: romance isn’t just dead

 

menthol: you beat it to death with a sledgehammer

 

android: this explains felix’s meltdown i guess

 

android: wow it’s all coming together would you look at that

 

menthol: now i have to seduce my mans and everything is all set

 

bisual: please never say that again

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm weak and can't make Jisung suffer for too long it's inhumane yeehaw.
> 
> Thanks for reading if you got this far! Feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos on what you thought and hmu on Twitter! (@moonwhis)


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this took way too long oh my god? my insomnia has been getting worse lately (me posting @ 4 am lmao), and it's throwing me into a writing slump. i'm trying to get back on track :)

family pet: what are your winter break plans?

 

family pet: hyunjin wants to know

 

bisual: sung and i are staying here

 

bisual: i’m gonna teach him how to make some real food

 

android: ooh good luck with that one

 

uwu: yeah that’s an impossible mission

 

android: also why do i get the feeling that it’s hyunjin typing

 

family pet: :)

 

bisual: strong instincts

 

uwu: that’s my guy

 

uwu: anyways channie and i were looking to stay a couple nights in la with one of his friends

 

family pet: ooh! which one?

 

android: jae

 

family pet: tell him i said hello

 

menthol: i’m probably going to go home and stay on campus

 

menthol: break or not we got this homework bb

 

bisual: big mood

 

family pet: is woonjin staying too?

 

menthol: WOONJIN

 

menthol: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

 

menthol: KIM WOONJIN

 

rawr: suddenly the coffee i was bringing you is in the gutter

 

menthol: wait no 

 

family pet: drag him

 

uwu: seungmin is back 

 

family pet: hyunjin’s phone died so he decided to be a thief

 

android: man relationship goals

 

family pet: someone has to set the example

 

rawr: this feels like looking into a mirror

 

menthol: he learned from the best

 

rawr: thanks your feeble flattery is exactly what i’ve been looking for

 

uwu: my bro senses are tingling

 

uwu: jisung r u here brother

 

owo: i am indeed

 

bisual: oh what the fuck

 

bisual: there’s something not natural about that

 

owo: <3

 

sharknado: my grandparents from busan are flying out here to answer the original question presented

 

sharknado: nothing else in this chat deserves to be addressed

 

owo: ooh big word

 

owo: also :(

 

menthol: he’s returned

 

sharknado: midterms are a bitch 

 

sharknado: i don’t have time to chat

 

android: why does he sound like the oldest one

 

android: you’re a lil baby freshman jeongin lighten up

 

sharknado: come over and tell me that to my face

 

owo: i wouldn’t

 

owo: he’s got that scary dead look rn

 

owo: i’ve been hiding in my room for three days

 

bisual: that’s your real excuse for not leaving the house

 

bisual: are you kidding me

 

owo: you don’t live with this babe

 

menthol: sorry to interrupt

 

menthol: but did you really throw my coffee away wooj?

 

rawr: no 

 

rawr: i can’t waste that kind of money

 

menthol: please let me hug you when you get back

 

rawr: fine

 

android: lee minho: miracle worker

 

menthol: can i make a job out of that i need the cash

 

sharknado: please i would pay

 

menthol: maybe i should interpret dreams i’ve got this book

 

owo: go for it fam

 

rawr: actually that’s not a bad idea

 

android: who needs a degree when you can explain dreams

 

uwu: don’t hate on him he’s trying

 

android: yes sir

 

sharknado: eyes emoji

 

family pet: weren’t you dead

 

sharknado: an opportunity presented itself

 

owo: no he’s still dead trust me

 

bisual: come out of your room i’ll take you to dinner

 

owo: jeonginnie please leave the living room

 

sharknado: i’d like to see you try and move me

 

owo: changbinnie hhh

 

bisual: i’m doing this because i care about you there’s no other reason

 

family pet: what the fuck does that mean

 

family pet: are you going over to kill him

 

bisual: no i swear

 

sharknado: i’ll unlock the door if you are

 

owo: he can climb through the window though

 

android: i remember that

 

rawr: what is wrong with us

 

uwu: college bitch

 

menthol: the facts jumped out

 

rawr: speak like that again and i’m going to choke you to death

 

menthol: wait what if i say i care about you too

 

rawr: i’ll thank you for the sentiment and still murder you in cold blood

 

family pet: what a happy couple

 

uwu: man hyunjin is going to throw a fit when he sees that he’s missed this

 

owo: bold of u to assume he isn’t looking over seungmin’s shoulder as we speak

 

family pet: he’s learning

 

family pet: adbhjgfajf

 

family pet: hi again! :)

 

android: seungmin died

 

android: press f to pay respect

 

bisual: f

 

family pet: no i am sitting on him

 

menthol: he’s on his way out jinnie has thighs of steel

 

family pet: :(

 

menthol: get off of him you oaf

 

owo: ur thighs are beautiful hwang hyunjin don’t listen to him

 

rawr: also please do not kill your boyfriend

 

family pet: okay hyung will do

 

android: seungmin you good mate

 

family pet: making it 

 

bisual: relationship goals

 

family pet: also should i be offended that only one of you paid respect to my passing

 

sharknado: what were you expecting

 

uwu: i can pop over and drop off a flower if that's what u want

 

family pet: this is the respect i deserve

 

uwu: u better not be making out with hyunjin when i get there or i will set your dorm on fire

 

family pet: you can't do that to horse

 

bisual: holy shit i forgot about that stupid lizard

 

family pet: SHE IS NOT STUPID

 

menthol: how is she

 

menthol: it's been weeks since our last update

 

family pet: molting atm

 

owo: if u sell the skin on eBay someone will buy it

 

rawr: i think your speaking rights need to revoked if you keep it up young man

 

owo: this is America

 

owo: i am a legal adult with the right of free speech

 

menthol: why only capitalize america

 

owo: only the best for my country

 

android: yikes

 

uwu: showing some pride

 

uwu: that's my bro

 

owo: u always support me bro

 

uwu: soulmate culture

 

owo: i'm honored

 

uwu: also let me in seungmin

 

bisual: it's like they're the ones that are together

 

owo: no ily a lot babe

 

uwu: same here 

 

uwu: except with chan

 

android: the love is overwhelming

 

uwu: sorry i have plans

 

uwu: i know ur tactics

 

android: :(

 

uwu: i'm not weak

 

uwu: AUDHFJEHA

 

sharknado: jesus christ

 

rawr: they're making out aren't they

 

uwu: AJWITHEBS

 

rawr: jisung translate

 

owo: he says yes

 

owo: drop the flowers and run

 

uwu: IRUWHGF

 

owo: he said on it

 

sharknado: i'm not sure a relationship like that is healthy

 

sharknado: they really out here sharing brain cells

 

bisual: jeongin actually unlocked their door

 

sharknado: i wasn't kidding

 

owo: come and get me

 

sharknado: he's right here stop shouting that you need your prince charming

 

owo: what can i say

 

bisual: man i love you

 

owo: oh me too wowie

 

menthol: keep in your pants kids

 

bisual: ok damn calm down there 

 

owo: it's definitely not like you'd be the same with woojin

 

menthol: oh i’d be worse

 

rawr: minho please

 

menthol: what can i say it's the truth ;)

 

menthol: he's a beautiful man

 

rawr: i was born to suffer

 

android: you love it don't lie

 

rawr: maybe you're right

 

menthol: hey wooj when you get back maybe we can do something else besides hugging?

 

owo: HOLY SHIT

 

uwu: LMAO

 

bisual: man has no shame

 

menthol: I MEANT KISSES

 

menthol: I WANT TO KISS HIM NASTY FUCKS

 

rawr: i mean i'm not saying no

 

sharknado: this energy makes me want to stab my eyes out with a spork and start a new life in the forest

 

android: calm down there buddy

 

owo: i'm betting he really said same

 

android: i sometimes do not like how well you predict me

 

owo: what can i say

 

sharknado: nothing works just fine for me

 

owo: well fuck u too i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading if you got this far and feel free to leave feedback!


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> owo: i’m subscribed though r u is the real question
> 
>  
> 
> uwu: of course i am
> 
>  
> 
> uwu: i could never disrespect my lord and savior pewdiepie this way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently school is really trying to kill me this year oops. I'm on winter break arm and finally got some time to write! I apologize for taking so long it's literally been two months.

[private chat: android, menthol, bisual]

 

android: you're so gutsy wtf

 

menthol: i'm not a little bitch like you two

 

bisual: the realest 

 

android: the real question is how has woojin not killed you yet

 

menthol: i guess he just loves me or something :)

 

bisual: oh that was really soft 

 

bisual: i’m not sure i was made to handle seeing a soft minho

 

menthol: let me have my moment

 

menthol: i’ve been dealing with your bitching for months

 

android: there’s the attention seeker i know and love

 

menthol: the only reason i’m not coming to smack you into next week is because i have not had any coffee

 

menthol: speaking of coffee midterms are killing me

 

bisual: how are midterms and coffee connected??

 

android: he just wants to talk about himself 

 

menthol: if you don’t hush your spicy threesome is about to become a spicy onesome

 

bisual: IT”S 3RACHA 

 

bisual: NO SPICY THREESOMES HAVE OCCUTRED

 

menthol: what a shame

 

android: maybe i should go through with stabbing my eyes out with a spork

 

android: oh brb felix is calling

 

menthol: we love a dedicated man

 

bisual: man i wish jisung would communicate his wishes through the phone

 

bisual: he usually just shows up at my dorm and drags me somewhere without giving me any information

 

menthol: quick interruption

 

menthol: that was the best sentence i’ve seen from you in weeks

 

bisual: i have midterms too hoe

 

bisual: i’ve written my body weight in eassays this week

 

menthol: i hope you don’t spell like that in your essays

 

menthol: it’s a wonder you haven’t flunked out yet

 

bisual: i do always have that street rat career choice

 

android: i have returned

 

menthol: that was quick for once

 

android: lix is driving 

 

android: actually i should probably look into that he doesn’t have a car?

 

bisual: i was about to say

 

android: he said he’s dropping jisung off at starbucks to meet up with yugyeom

 

android: also to go to work i guess but he did not make that a priority

 

menthol: not to be that bitch but what did you expect from him

 

android: exactly as much as i got if i’m being honesy

 

bisual: sung said he’s getting calculus a little better these days

 

bisual: yugyeom is a miracle worker 

 

menthol: throwback to when you were threatened by that string bean

 

android: bambam thought that was hilarious by the way

 

bisual: i love when my friends spill my personal life to all their pals!

 

menthol: you called us your friends aw <3

 

bisual: i take it back

 

android: felix is calling again and i’m gonna take it 

 

android: i think he’s realized that he doesn’t own a car

 

menthol: i must also depart woojin has arrived home

 

menthol: later lads

 

-

 

uwu: so i accidentally stole a car

 

owo: i knew something was off

 

family pet: excuse me

 

jinkies: can we do that minnie

 

family pet: i’m not exactly looking to get arrested so no

 

family pet: and if you pout at me i’m not going to the movies with you

 

jinkies: give me a sad hug at least

 

uwu: alright this is sweet but i think we’re forgetting i’m now a hardened criminal

 

menthol: i silenced wooj’s phone so he doesn’t have to deal with this

 

menthol: i’m also going to silence my phone now good luck 

 

owo: bro we’ve got this

 

owo: we can be bonnie and clyde

 

sharknado: you wouldn’t last a day out there let’s be real

 

android: alright how worried should i be?

 

uwu: i think it’s from a rental place

 

android: felix

 

android: that’s the car i rented for us to go to la

 

android: do you not remember?

 

uwu: that makes sense

 

uwu: ur beanie is in one of the seats btw

 

android: and you couldn’t piece together that we rented it??

 

owo: to be fair it is only 1 in the afternoon

 

sharknado: wait really

 

sharknado: i have a test at 1:15

 

sharknado: i thought it was 11 oh shit

 

owo: run kiddo

 

owo: i’d pack ur bag if i was there but yug and i are going over hw

 

family pet: turn off your phone then dingus

 

family pet: try and soak in some of that knowledge

 

owo: he’s texting too though

 

android: i just told him to turn off his phone

 

owo: then i fuess i will too

 

owo: adios mis amigos 

 

jinkies: ooh he’s speaking french!

 

sharknado: are you 

 

sharknado: are you kidding me

 

jinkies: oui oui

 

uwu: it’s spanish jin

 

uwu: he’s speaking spanish

 

jinkies: oh

 

family pet: didn’t you take a year of french

 

jinkies: more like three

 

android: i think we might be the stupidest people on this here campus

 

family pet: unfortunately i might have to agree with you

 

sharknado: FCUK

 

android: jesus

 

android: calm down there jeongin my son

 

sharknado: I PU T  ON 2 DIFFERENT SHOES ON THE WAY OUT OF THE HOUSE

 

sharknado: ONE OF THEM IS JISUNG”S

 

jinkies: small feet

 

sharknado: YES EXACTLY

 

family pet: hey not to alarm you

 

family pet: it’s 1:12 

 

family pet: run bitch

 

sharknado: I “M TERRIFIED   
  


family pet: TURN OFF YOUR PHONE 

 

uwu: wow i make one drink order and all hell breaks loose

 

family pet: is this anything new to you??

 

uwu: not really

 

uwu: this is just faster than usual i’m shocked

 

bisual: i checked the chat and regret it

 

family pet: that’s the only valid response to this mess

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

owo: bro 

 

owo: i got all the problems on my calculus hw right?

 

uwu: i’m so proud of u!!

 

uwu: brb gonna bring u and yugyeom free drinks

 

owo: ooh surprise me 

 

uwu: i’ll make sure not to put in any matcha though

 

uwu: can’t kill my bro

 

owo: no do it

 

owo: forbidden juice

 

uwu: this is tempting

 

uwu: i have a feeling woojin hyung would say no 

 

uwu: i must hold back just this once

 

owo: I MUST GO ALL OUT THIS ONCE

 

uwu: BOBS OR VEGANA 

 

owo: BITCH LASAGNA

 

owo: i don’t know all of the words

 

uwu: fake fan

 

owo: i’m subscribed though r u is the real question

 

uwu: of course i am 

 

uwu: i could never disrespect my lord and savior pewdiepie this way

 

owo: good man

 

owo: also yug said he has no allergies

 

owo: permission to go nuts granted

 

uwu: aye aye captain

 

uwu: i’ll get onto that now

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave a comment/kudos!


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bisual: your priorities are admirable
> 
>  
> 
> menthol: all of me is admirable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY 2019!! I flew all the away across the U.S. today and have been up for 24+ hours so naturally I wrote something. Have a great new year everyone :) 
> 
> Also let me say writing Minho and Woojin's relationship is so fun they're such dorks.

sharknado: the sweet release of winter break is finally upon us

 

sharknado: it’s time to deal with family and i welcome it

 

family pet: who are you and what have you done with jeongin

 

sharknado: rude

 

family pet: that’s better

 

owo: i think i might have passed my calculus test

 

sharknado: me too i vaguely knew what was going on

 

bisual: sometimes i wonder how we all got into college

 

biusal: this university is supposed to be good but idk

 

menthol: is it sus

 

rawr: didn’t i tell you to never speak like that again

 

menthol: mayhaps

 

rawr: try coming home bitch

 

menthol: is this a threat

 

owo: it’s woojin hyung

 

owo: of course it’s a threat

 

sharknado: man it’s like you don’t even know him

 

menthol: i must admit i am ashamed

 

menthol: but also wooj i bought you sushi and sour patch kids :(

 

family pet: where do you have the money to buy sushi

 

menthol: i’ve been making good cash interpreting dreams

 

bisual: i’m too impressed to be disappointed honestly

 

owo: are people that desperate

 

sharknado: if i pay you 25$ will you tell me what this banger of a dream i had last week means

 

bisual: don’t do it he put the dollar sign after the 25

 

menthol: this is in fact a problem

 

sharknado: $25

 

menthol: alrighty! we can get down to business at 4

 

menthol: do i need to give you my number

 

family pet: we’re

 

family pet: we’re texting each other in a gc

 

rawr: minho sweatie you’re trying and that’s what counts

 

rawr: also it is safe to come home now

 

sharknado: i would be worried but there’s not enough of me left to be worried

 

family pet: jeongin you haven’t even gotten to finals yet

 

family pet: it’s worse than this

 

owo: please don’t say that i can’t take him in test mode again

 

owo: i wasn’t built for this

 

bisual: i could come pick you up

 

bisual: the dorm is empty rn

 

menthol: we literally got off today

 

bisual: does anyone want to willingly be here

 

menthol: fair enough

 

sharknado: wait i have something to live for this afternoon at 4

 

owo: oh my god i’m safe

 

owo: but binnie please come pick me up i’m still scared

 

rawr: collectively you two are the largest cowards i’ve ever met

 

bisual: i’m taking that as a compliment

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, android]

 

android: lix you’ve been in the gas station for 20 minutes are you okay

 

uwu: i am dealing with a situation but everything is dandy

 

android: i can’t believe you said dandy

 

android: i’m coming in

 

uwu: h

 

android: felix what did you do

 

uwu: nothing illegal

 

uwu: probably

 

android: jesus christ

 

uwu: i’m in the far right corner

 

uwu: don’t let too many people see you

 

uwu: also don’t say anything

 

android: is that a bin of puppies

 

android: why couldn’t this happen outside

 

uwu: it’s too cold!!

 

uwu: they’d freeze their little tails off

 

android: wait a minute

 

uwu: have u figured out my plot

 

android: jae is allergic to dogs

 

android: we can’t kill him brian’s place sucks

 

uwu: i will buy him allergy meds

 

uwu: i am getting a puppy today

 

android: if i ask you to not do that will you say no

 

uwu: definitely

 

uwu: start looking up vets in la

 

uwu: one of these suckers is getting their shots tomorrow

 

android: please don’t pick something that will grow up huge

 

uwu: I”M GETTIGN THAT LITTLE POODLE  
  
android: shit it is cute

 

uwu: it is a she christopher how dare you

 

android: my mistake

 

android: make sure to pay the guy and let’s get out of here

 

uwu: did i just do a drug deal

 

android: are dogs drugs felix

 

uwu: fair point

 

-

 

[private chat: menthol, rawr]

 

rawr: quick question

 

rawr: would you possibly consider going out to dinner with me

 

menthol: yes ;)

 

menthol: also give me one second

 

rawr: alrighty

 

-

 

[private chat: android, menthol, bisual]

 

menthol: SOS SOS WOOJIN ASKED ME TO DINNER

 

android: isn't that good

 

bisual: you have been pretty clear you want a piece of that

 

menthol: yeah but then! feelings and emotions!

 

menthol: i really like him :(

 

android: go out with him then

 

bisual: it's been working for us

 

menthol: i already said yes

 

menthol: it was instinct

 

android: do you even need us

 

menthol: guess not

 

bisual: wow really feeling the love

 

menthol: adios bitches!

 

-

 

[private chat: rawr, menthol]

 

menthol: hey sorry for that

 

menthol: to clarify i would love to go get dinner with you

 

rawr: oh that's good

 

rawr: i made reservations in a panic

 

menthol: false

 

menthol: kim woojin does not panic

 

rawr: kim woojin also does not ask out cute boys everyday now does he

 

menthol: you monster

 

menthol: i just uwued in public i can't believe you

 

menthol: are you out of your last class yet

 

rawr: yes??

 

rawr: should i be worried

 

rawr: i know better than to ask that actually

 

menthol: you better hold your britches bc i'm about to cuddle the shit out of you

 

rawr: oH

 

rawr: yeah that sounds nice

 

menthol: hey you're the cutest boy i've ever met

 

menthol: and the hottest one too but this is soft hours

 

rawr: i

 

rawr: hurry back i am anticipating cuddles and then food

 

menthol: of course wooj <3

 

rawr: disgusting

 

rawr: i love it

 

-

 

[private chat: android, menthol, bisual]

 

menthol: I DID IT

 

bisual: i'm not surprised

 

menthol: I'VE GOT CUDDLES AND A HOT DATE TONIGHT

 

android: the fact that woojin is being described as a hot date is mildly disturbing

 

menthol: he's a fine piece of ass

 

bisual: fuck i'm going to need some bleach after that

 

android: 843!_+#duw

 

menthol: excuse me

 

android: sorry that was my puppy

 

bisual: YOUR WHAT

 

bisual: CHAN BANG HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME

 

bisual: YOUR MOST TRUSTED FRIEND

 

bisual: AND FELIX??

 

android: hello jisung

 

bisual: hello bitch

 

menthol: dög

 

android: appreciate the input

 

bisual: I'M GOING TO SKIN BOTH OF YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK I'M SO BETRAYED

 

android: felix says hi and that the puppy is going to meet you first

 

bisual: tell him i love him

 

menthol: puppy

 

bisual: you broke him

 

android: welcome back changbin

 

bisual: thanks i guess

 

bisual: jisung is still fuming but is calmer (?)

 

menthol: i threw up in the gutter and am sprinting home

 

android: oh

 

android: tell woojin to brush his teeth

 

menthol: okay

 

bisual: who is this man

 

menthol: a changed one

 

android: i was going to say a broken one but that works too

 

android: alright this is where i split lix doesn't want to drive anymore

 

bisual: jisung is trying to skype him that's why

 

android: i'm going to kill jae on this trip

 

menthol: poor lad

 

menthol: but there's a puppy so it's all good

 

bisual: your priorities are admirable

 

menthol: all of me is admirable

 

bisual: wow looks like i also puked in the gutter

 

menthol: bicth

 

bisual: i could hear the vine

 

menthol: ttyl i have to get some cuddles now

 

bisual: i hated that more than i thought i would

 

menthol: suck it up buttercup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and once again have a great new year! Feel free to leave a comment/kudos on what you thought about this chapter :)


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Having a slump recently, but I actually want to write now so here I am :)

jinkies: you sound like my uncle

 

jinkies: he had the wildest blood pressure let me tell you

 

family pet: babe i’m sure he’s great

 

family pet: but that’s a little off topic

 

family pet: guess what hyunjin did for christmas

 

bisual: weren’t you 2 together over christmas

 

sharknado: i’m genuinely terrifide

 

rawr: nice try buddy

 

sharknado: i haven’t had to speell in two weeks

 

rawr: clearly

 

family pet: anyway

 

family pet: hyunjin went and got picked up by a cult

 

bisual: he

 

bisual: he what

 

menthol: i’m going to shock

 

rawr: aren’t you making mac n cheese

 

rawr: put your phone down

 

menthol: i need the tea wooj

 

rawr: i’ll yell

 

bisual: wow relationship goals

 

bisual: but also can we get back to hyunjin getting picked up by a cult???

 

jinkies: i didn’t really mean to

 

family pet: you’re so lucky that i love you

 

jinkies: it’s not like i actually joined the cult

 

family pet: yes just gave them all the money on your person

 

sharknado: disappointed but not surpised

 

jinkies: he seemed really nice

 

jinkies: but i am very broke

 

android: lix and i just woke up what’s up y’all

 

bisual: i suggest you scroll up

 

android: now i am worried

 

rawr: valid feeling

 

android: worry levels increasing

 

jinkies: offense taken

 

jinkies: i am coming

 

sharknado: don’t sit on him

 

jinkies: i do what i want i’m independent

 

menthol: not to be that bitch

 

menthol: but isn’t he your only source of income

 

jinkies: horse’s future depends on him y’our right

 

menthol: excuse me

 

sharknado: at least i’m not the only one

 

sharknado: fist bump emoji

 

family pet: this house is a fucking nightmare

 

menthol: no need to be rude seungmin damn

 

family pet: this is not how christmas is supposed to go

 

jinkies: i am here

 

jinkies: let me in i want cuddles

 

family pet: omw

 

menthol: wooj this could be us but you playing

 

rawr: PUT DONW YOUR FUCKING PHONE  


sharknado: your relationship is the funniest thing holy shit

 

family pet: it’s like a parallel universe of mine

 

jinkies: false

 

jinkies: where’s horse? check and mate

 

family pet: i said parapell dingus

 

family pet: she might not be there at all

 

sharknado: you’ve done a bad thing seungmin

 

jinkies: >:(

 

jinkies:  i dont’ want cuddles anymore i want blode

 

bisual: i drink to forget but i always remember

 

android: thanks captain emo

 

menthol: you want what now

 

rawr: I”MGOING TO KILL YOU PLEAS E DON”T BURN US ALIVE  


menthol: love you 2 babe

 

rawr: if you loved me you wouldn’t be trying to commit accidental arson

 

sharknado: things heating up now

 

family pet: yeah the mac and chejrguwefhajfbashsa

 

sharknado: hello

 

family pet: help dughsdkdsfTQGv

 

sharknado: can we get an f in the chat

 

jinkies: f

 

sharknado: LMAO HYUNJIN IT’S LIKE YOU LIVE A DOUBLE LIFE  


-

 

[private chat: bisual, owo]

 

bisual: so my mom sent us christmas presents

 

bisual: she also wants to facetime can i come over?

 

owo: please do my brother is trying to call me

 

bisual: do you want to talk to him for a bit?? i can swing by in like 30 minutes

 

owo: no pls save me

 

owo: the day my brother can tolerate me for more than five minutes is the day i become a math major

 

bisual: mildly concerning

 

bisual: i’m a little worried babe

 

owo: then come here

 

owo: i wanna talk to ur mom she makes hella sick ginger snaps

 

bisual: shit she does doesn’t she

 

owo: ur mom is the best soccer mom on the planet

 

owo: every bitter white soccer mom has made way for the queen

 

owo: asian soccer mom representation

 

bisual: wait a minute she would love that i’m sending this to her

 

bisual: update she says thank you for the high praise

 

owo: hurry over and let me thank her for her hard work

 

bisual: alright will do

 

bisual: i’m gonna drive because it’s colder than satan’s three times removed cousin’s asshole

 

owo: not sure if i can follow but luv u drive safe

 

bisual: love you too sungie

 

owo: heart: busted the fattest uwu

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, android]

 

uwu: i’m gonna kill jae

 

android: ??? i went out for bagels what happened

 

uwu: he named our baby toothpick

 

uwu: she won’t respond to anything else

 

android: oh my god

 

android: sungjin just laughed himself into an asthma attack brb

 

uwu: yeah u better be

 

uwu: i’m about to commit first degree murder bitch

 

android: why did he call her toothpick??

 

uwu: guess

 

android: he didn’t

 

uwu: HE TOLD HER TO BE A SKINNTY LEGEND

 

android: LMAO

 

android: THAT’S SUCH A JAE THING TO DO I CAN’T BREATHE

 

uwu: brian told me not to kill him but i don’t take order from someone who goes by a white person name

 

android: YOUR NAME IS FELIX

 

android: MINE IS CHRISTOPHER

 

uwu: but i’m not white

 

uwu: it doesn’t count

 

android: HE ISN’T EITHER  


uwu: where’s your proof

 

android: he’s got a hell of a vitamin d deficiency

 

android: ask jae

 

uwu: i’m not talking to that toe rag

 

uwu: i’ll ask wonpil

 

android: alright i got your lox bagel

 

uwu: u the best bae

 

uwu: toothpick misses u hurry back

 

android: you seemed to have moved on fairly quickly

 

uwu: not another word out of you mister

 

uwu: ur suitcase better be packed also we leave in three hours

 

android: hehe

 

-

 

[private chat: android, owo]

 

owo: hey chan?

 

owo: i’ve got something i need to talk about

 

owo: call me as soon as you can okay?

 

owo: haha i’m going to type it here nvm

 

owo: my brother called me today

 

owo: he invited me to his wedding

 

owo: i almost fucking cried during the phone call

 

owo: his fiancé ruby made him invite me

 

owo: he’s not sending me a paper invite

 

owo: should i go?

 

owo: he hates me so much that i would probably ruin his wedding

 

android: hey sung

 

android: chan’s asleep this is felix

 

owo: shit fuck

 

owo: sorry lix i shiouldn’t have sent all of that

 

android: it’s okay

 

android: i’m your best friend i want to hear when shit like this happens

 

owo: i’m so sorry i only talk to chan and woojin about this

 

owo: i know you know some stuff but i can’t put this on you

 

android: han jisung

 

android: i love you so much and have your back in this world and every other

 

owo: what should i do

 

owo: i’m so scared lix

 

android: do what feels best for you sung

 

android: it would be great if you didn’t go but i can’t make that decision for you

 

owo: i know

 

owo: i wish binnie knew

 

android: why doesn’t he sung?

 

owo: i don’t want to scare him off with my family drama

 

owo: especially since his family is so sweet

 

android: alright i’m going to call you

 

android: give me one sec okay? i’m pulling over

 

owo: okay

 

android: you’re going to be fine sung

 

-

 

uwu: we’re back sluts!

 

sharknado: i don’t like this

 

bisual: he spends two weeks with jae and this happens

 

menthol: unrelated but

 

menthol: you should see how many eggs i can fit into my mouth

 

family pet: absolutely not

 

rawr: i’m getting you a leash you little shit

 

sharknado: wow y’all some kind of freaks

 

family pet: ABSOLUTELY NOT

 

uwu: i was gonna ask if you want to meet toothpick but now i don’t know if should let u near her

 

owo: no let me meet puppy

 

jinkies: yes puppy

 

menthol: i will bring my eggs to her

 

sharknado: what happened to him

 

rawr: he saw a dog on twitter hold eggs in its mouth

 

family pet: are you implying minho is a furry

 

rawr: not even remotely

 

bisual: this is the worst thing we’ve seen so far oh my god

 

bisual: i’d take vore over this

 

owo: famous last words

 

uwu: chomp chomp thot

 

sharknado: WHAT IS HAPPENING

 

jinkies: i wasn’t built to handle this

 

menthol: ding dong your’e wrong

 

menthol: minho threw a fork at me

 

rawr: it’s what you deserve

 

owo: woojin really out here being attracted to zero brain cells

 

sharknado: BREAKING NEWS KIM WOOJIN FUCKING VEGETABLES

 

jinkies: NO  PLEASE  


uwu: bold statement i like it

 

bisual: we are all god’s children and he left us in a hot car

 

family pet: why am i not dead then

 

jinkies: me

 

family pet: of course how could i have been so blind

 

bisual: seungmin is so disgustingly soft

 

family pet: you have no right to speak here

 

bisual: an attakc on my personality

 

bisual: my personal safety too as a matter of fact

 

sharknado: i’m going to put myself into a mountain dew induced coma now so i don’t have to remember any of this goodnite

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a comment/kudos telling my what you thought!


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me writing!! Wow I did something

[private chat:  menthol, bisual, android]

 

menthol: SOS

 

android: everything good mate

 

bisual: my gut is telling me probably not

 

menthol: you would be right! congratulations!1

 

android: i can hear your stress what’s up

 

menthol: okay here’s the thing

 

bisual: alright this is about woojin i’m calling it

 

menthol: no it’s not let me speak rat

 

android: minho taking no prisoners today

 

menthol: so i want to take woojin to the movies

 

bisual: wow i love the taste of betrayal

 

bisual: i don’t need friends they disappoint me

 

android: okay thanks captain emo

 

menthol: ANYWAYS   
  
android: technically it’s anyway

 

bisual: go off chan

 

menthol: SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THREE SECONDS PLEASE

 

menthol: what movie should i take him to???

 

menthol: i know what he likes but he’s picky at theaters

 

biusal: to be fair it’s very expensive

 

android: take him to see the meg he likes sharks

 

menthol: that movie came out in AUGUST

 

android: yeah and

 

bisual: chan’s the one taking no prisoners

 

menthol: when’s the last time you went to the movies old man

 

android: like 2 years ago

 

bisual: wtf why has it been that long

 

android: i have no money

 

menthol: your opinion is invalid anyway

 

android: to quote someone that i know well

 

android: i don’t need friends they disappoint me

 

bisual: wow thanks

 

menthol: what should i do!! i don’t want him to have a shitty time!

 

bisual: you could honestly rent a redbox movie and he’d think you were the most romantic person to walk  the face of this earth

 

android: yeahs sounds about right

 

menthol: i can rent the meg then hmmm

 

bisual: cheap

 

menthol: i’m in college asshole of course i’m cheap

 

android: me too what a coincidence!

 

bisual: i’m going to punch myself in the face

 

-

 

[private chat: uwu, owo]

 

uwu: i’m about three minutes away from quitting my job

 

owo: ooh tea

 

owo: i’m here bro spill

 

uwu: i knew u had my back

 

uwu: anyway

 

uwu: we’ve got a new manager bc chris got a job at another starbucks

 

owo: who?

 

uwu: chan fine u little shit

 

owo: much better

 

owo: so new manager huh

 

uwu: i do not like  very much

 

uwu: 0/10 would not recommend

 

owo: ooh we hate him

 

uwu: here’s the thing

 

uwu: her name is jessica

 

owo: fat rip

 

owo: what can i do to help bro

 

uwu: tell her to stop getting lip injections 

 

uwu: she looks like a camel

 

owo: specific

 

owo: is she blonde sounds like someone in my flute class

 

uwu: you’re still taking that??

 

owo: of course

 

uwu: didn’t u tell chan u stopped because u can’t afford it

 

owo: yes

 

uwu: my hero

 

owo: i still have your reed flute rachel bought u if u want to break it out sometime

 

uwu: anything to distract me from jessica

 

uwu: HDUBGFJHWBFHS

 

owo: she didn’t

 

uwu: SHE DID   
  


owo: sucking dick in the back of starbucks

 

owo: classy

 

uwu: NO FHSJDHABD

 

owo: u have a point

 

owo: i’ll bring your flute for the end of ur shift

 

uwu: i love u thak 

 

owo: anything for u bro

 

-

 

owo: lix’s manager sucks dick in the back

 

menthol: chan is sucking dick?????

 

android: i don’t work there anymore!!

 

uwu: yeah bc ur a buzzkill

 

android: i got an apartment big enough for both of us to live in

 

uwu: your point

 

owo: i think she’s in my flute class

 

android: i thought you quit that?

 

owo: ah

 

owo: yes of course

 

menthol: sus

 

owo: stf shit head

 

owo: one more  word and i call connor for his bone saw

 

jinkies: connor has a bone saw?

 

owo: u know a connor?

  
  


jinkies: you don’t?

 

owo: no???

 

menthol: to be fair i can name like three connors and they’re all massive fuck boys

 

android: hyunjin please do not get involved in this

 

jinkies: he gave me a beanie with my name monogrammed on it though

 

menthol: i

 

menthol: why?

 

jinkies: he’s a fashion major!

 

jinkies: i was his model recently it was a thank you

 

uwu: i should have known

 

uwu: it’s hyunjin

 

family pet: so that’s where that came from

 

family pet: i was not given an explanation

 

owo: ooh big word

 

menthol: explanation???

 

menthol: that’s not a big word???

 

android: hes’ trying okay

 

family pet: thanks! i hate it!

 

android: also @lix do you want to come over tonight?

 

uwu: sorry chris 

 

uwu: sung and i are going to have a jam session

  
  


owo: WE PLAYINNG FLUTE TONITE BABY

 

bisual: if there is any chance of living with chan felix take it

 

bisual: you are terrible to live with

 

uwu: bicth

 

bisual: i don’t think you’ve cleaned our room since the beginning of the year

 

menthol: oh bb no

 

jinkies: choose your own adventure room

 

uwu: is that why u sleep on the couch?”

 

bisual: what 

 

bisual:  do u think

 

family pet: not to be that bitch

 

family pet: didn’t chan changbin anf felix live together?

 

menthol: oh yeah i frogot about that

 

bisual: he left me for his own apartment it’s unforgivable 

 

owo: dramatic much

 

bisual: you’re so scared of jeongin i think you understand what it’s like with felix

 

android: bad answer

 

owo: lix and i are one and the same

 

uwu: damn straight

 

bisual: at least i tried

 

menthol: not really but go off

 

-

 

sharknado: i’m an uber on the way to the e.r. at the moment

 

rawr: oh my god what happened??

 

sharknado: it’s cuffing season

 

menthol: are you kidding me

 

owo: an icon

 

sharknado: i do what i have to do

 

bisual: how does falling down the stairs and breaking your ankle relate to getting cuffed

 

rawr: how do you know he broke his ankle

 

bisual: we were eating lunch together

 

bisual: who do you think is paying for the uber

 

bisual: jeongin lives off of mountain dew there’s no way he’s affording an ambulance

 

menthol: apparently you aren’t either

 

bisual: what did you do to help??

 

menthol: i wasn’t there

 

bisual: that’s what i thought

 

owo: man ur such a hero 

 

rawr: not exactly what i would call it but close enough

 

android: why not sign up for tinder

 

android: if you’re so desperate to get cuffed

 

sharknado: and risked getting murdered in a ditch?

 

sharknado: hell no 

 

menthol: looks you might get yourself there at this rate

 

sharknado: this is harassment

 

menthol: excuse me

 

sharknado: my ankle borken and you’re making fun of me

 

owo: your ankle is what

 

sharknado: i said what i said

 

android: this is the most he’s typed in the chat in weeks

 

android: all it took was bodily harm and my son talks to me again

 

rawr: back the hell away from jeongin

 

bisual: he’s not in the car

 

rawr: doesn’t matter he’s australian

 

rawr: they’ve got kangaroo in their genes

 

owo: DHJSHFkjSF

 

android: WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 

owo: mad hops

 

android: i’ll take what i can get actually

 

menthol: sorry to be the voice of reason again

 

menthol: jeongin send is the address and we’ll come visit you

 

menthol: keep us updated

 

owo: oh yeah i forogt that part

 

sharknado: my cold heart is suddenly warm

  
  


family pet: such a close relationship we all have

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment/kudos about what you thought! They really make my day :)


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK IT HASN'T BEEN A MONTH!!!
> 
> It's my birthday today, so I'm posting a chapter on my new computer! Hope everyone has been having a great day :)

family pet: hey jeongin how’s the ankle buddy

 

family pet: i’ve had to take huunjin and horse to the vet three times this week sorry i haven’t visited

 

sharknado: i’m alive and well

 

rawr: his nurse just tried to give him food and he called her ugly for giving him hospital food

 

menthol: more importantly

 

menthol: how’s horse why is she at the vet

 

jinkies: wow seungmin look someone cares about her

 

family pet: i never said they didn’t babe

 

jinkies: i called her my daughter and you called her a stinky leech

 

sharknado: ooh next time stacy comes back that bitch has got another thing coming

 

uwu: may i ask what she did u didn’t seem angry when sung and i stopped by yesterday

 

sharknado: no

 

rawr: you don’t get to chicken out now mister

 

rawr: he wanted an iv so he could post it on snapchat and she didn’t give him one

 

sharknado: apparently being ‘hydrated’ means i can’t have an iv

 

uwu: idk man i’m not a doctor

 

menthol: that’s exactly what that means dipshit

 

menthol: why do i have a feeling your mom still schedules your doctor’s appointments

 

sharknado: so what if she does

 

rawr: shut up minho he’s trying to stand up he hasn’t gotten his cast yet

 

rawr: chan and changbin are having to restrain him

 

jinkies: does anyone still care about horse because i still am at the vet

 

uwu: i didn’t know jeongin was that strong damn

 

family pet: i don’t think he is tbh

 

family pet: have you seen the size of chan and changbin’s arms???

 

uwu: yeah u right

 

uwu: chan does have really nice arms

 

android: aww thanks babe

 

uwu: <3

 

rawr: WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO HE JUST FELL DOWN AGAIN

 

menthol: hyunjin i’m sorry you’re being ignored fill me in

 

jinkies: god finally the respect i deserve

 

jinkies: she’s got mites :(

 

menthol: oh poor baby

 

menthol: how is she

 

family pet: she should be fine

 

family pet: it’s really easy to treat hyunjin just keeps forgetting what he needs to buy

 

jinkies: the spray has a long name okay

 

jinkies: this time i had a valid excuse

 

jinkies: i think that i got her mites

 

menthol: why are you going back to the vet tf

 

uwu: i’d suggest maybe… going to a doctor

 

family pet: oh but the bills ://

 

jinkies: this is why i want health insurance bitch

 

sharknado: i’m invested hyunjin sowre at seungmin

 

rawr: man breaking your ankle makes you illiterate huh

 

sharknado: sorry i can’t hear you over the sound of my pain killers

 

menthol: wow they got him high

 

android: this idiot literally fell on his bad ankle trying to square up

 

sharknado: they gave me a pill and i am good now

 

uwu: did stacy redeem herself

 

sharknado: no she’s still ugly

 

rawr: you’re a dirty clout chaser

 

sharknado: i’m desperate for validation and attention

 

jinkies: big mood

 

family pet: hyunjin i’m coming to take you to the doctor

 

family pet: i picked up horse’s spray she’ll be okay

 

jinkies: our daughter is on the mend

 

family pet: no

 

jinkies: :(

 

family pet: don’t be sad i picked up ice cream

 

jinkies: :)

 

menthol: wow look how sweet

 

rawr: i don’t want to leave jeongin get your own ice cream

 

menthol: wow love you babe

 

uwu: i’ll bring u ice cream minho

 

menthol: my real ride or die is right here

 

android: i don’t need friends they disappoint me

 

owo: wow i see how it is

 

owo: what am i chopped liver

 

sharknado: ew that’s ugly

 

android: sometimes it be like that

 

owo: watch ur back asshole

 

uwu: jisung no

 

owo: don’t try and protect him felix lee he knows what he did

 

owo: bang chan u know ur fate

 

menthol: why does chan’s last name come first but felix’s doesn’t

 

owo: irrelevant thot

 

menthol: oh

 

rawr: it’s what you deserve

 

menthol: okay WOW

 

uwu: minho i’m coming over rn

 

owo: i’m coming too i’ve been betrayed

 

menthol: see y’all soon then i guess

 

jinkies: yeehaw

 

sharknado: don’t break any traffic laws

 

uwu: joke’s on you i don’t have a car

 

family pet: not something that i would be proud of

 

uwu: shut up rich boy

 

family pet: did you mean an adult with a stable job

 

owo: what a snoozefest

 

owo: who needs a job anyway just marry rich

 

jinkies: that’s my plan!

 

jinkies: horse and i will live a good life

 

menthol: are you implying seungmin is your sugar daddy

 

family pet: i don’t like that very much i’m going to be honest

 

android: unacceptable

 

android: hyunjin you need to get at least a little job

 

android: learn how retail works

 

jinkies: what will you do if i say no

 

android: please

 

jinkies: shut up shorty

 

uwu: knock knock minhoe

 

owo: we’re here with our own spoons

 

menthol: fantastic give me a second to undo the deadbolt

 

sharknado: why do you have that on your door

 

rawr: bc i’m not getting murdered in the middle of the night

 

rawr: this school is full of some fucking wild people

 

menthol: he’s not wrong

 

-

 

[private chat: bisual, owo]

 

owo: sos i don’t feel safe in my dorm anymore

 

bisual: !! what happened

 

owo: it’s that guy next door jongho

 

owo: he punched a whole cantaloupe in half with his bare fist

 

bisual: first of all what the fuck

 

bisual: second of all why

 

owo: don’t ask me i can’t tell u why

 

owo: jeongin isn’t here to protect me

 

bisual: you spend half your time hiding from jeongin

 

owo: yeah but he protected me sometimes

 

owo: jongho is across the hall from me

 

owo: he could SMASH ME

 

bisual: have you provoked him in any way shape or form

 

owo: not at the moment

 

bisual: then i’m sure you’re fine

 

bisual: just in case… i’ll come over and keep you company

 

owo: this is an excuse to leave your shithole

 

bisual: felix WON”T CLEAN

 

bisual: I”M DYING  
  
owo: it’s not his fault

 

bisual: IT IS ALL HIS FAUKT  
  
bisual: I DIDN”T KNOW ONE PERSON COULD MAKE THAT MUCH TRASH

 

owo: i’ll keep the door open awaiting your arrival

 

owo: if i get my head smashed tattoo my name on your bicep

 

bisual: of course who do you think i am

 

owo: man u the best babe

 

bisual: thanks i guess

 

bisual: see you soon i’m getting in the car

 

owo: we love a king who doesn’t text and drive!

 

-

 

android: HELP SHOULD I CALL THE POLICE  
  
uwu: what

 

rawr: maybe explain the situation or something first??

 

bisual: no call 100% don’t risk it

 

owo: i have the phone ready to go

 

rawr: he’s with jisung then

 

android: we went camping with my parents

 

android: there’s a fucking RACOON IN MY CAR

 

android: IT”S EATING ALL OF OUR FOOD  
  
owo: he’s throwing egg everywhere

 

owo: ur car’s going to smell so bad

 

bisual: wait we share that care don’t ruin it

 

android: I DID NOT CHOOSE FOR THAT SHIT TO GO ON A REIGN OF TERROR

 

uwu: what are your parents doing to help?

 

owo: they’re on a hike

 

owo: his mom loves racoons anyway

 

android: I”M CALLING THE COPS IT HONKED THE HORN

 

rawr: how far out in the woods are you??

 

owo: like 45 minutes from the nearest town

 

rawr: call the ranger not the cops then you idiots

 

bisual: how...are the.... seats….

 

owo: very eggy babe sorry

 

uwu: tell him to leave

 

android: i’ve been screaming for a while

 

owo: another family moved to a different campsite after some rude words

 

uwu: gotdamn

 

rawr: jisung please make sure chan DOESN’T CALL THE POLICE OVER A RACOON

 

owo: aye aye captain

 

android: all our food i’m cryinf

 

bisual: why tf you keeping all the food in the car

 

android: so it didn’t get taken by animals

 

uwu: hmmm

 

uwu: seems fishy

 

owo: we had fish in there

 

bisual: MY CAR

 

android: YEAH ME TOO BUDDY :(  
  
rawr: you can get it cleaned when you get back i guess

 

owo: your positivity is inspiring woojin hyung

 

rawr: hell yeah it is

 

uwu: minho reveal yourself

 

rawr: oops you got me ;)

 

android: my parents are going to laugh at me

 

owo: wittle channie hates racoons

 

android: shut up you have to ride in the car too

 

owo: i don’t mind a lil egg i’m being honest

 

bisual: chan i’m finding a cleaner as we speak

 

android: bless

 

android: you were always the better roommate

 

uwu: wow full offense

 

uwu: especially if we’re going to live together

 

uwu: i’m keeping toothpick

 

android: not my baby :(

 

owo: don’t insult him oh well

 

android: han jisung

 

android: did you let the racoon into the car

 

owo: what would u do if i did

 

rawr: LMAO JISUNG TAKING NO PRISONERS  


android: this is the worst day of my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was inspired by jongho from ateez punching a cantaloupe open with HIS FIST. That shit threw me for a loop!! Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment and kudos, have a lovely day xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> The updates on this might be short but should actually come kind of frequently for once?? 
> 
> Let me know what you thought! Feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos and hit me up on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/moonwhis)


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